Bishop Eddie Long....and down Low Brothas in the church??



The Accused Bishop, complete wearing a nice fluffy poodle
on his head.



I wanted to finally comment on the issues surrounding the atlanta megachurch pastor Bishop Eddie Long.  Now as a disclaimer, in no way am I stating that the allegations filed against him are true or that Bishop Eddie Long is a down-low brother.  The purpose for this post is to just talk about the taboo that has existed in particularly the "black church" for many years. Oh boy here we go....

A few posts ago, I blogged lightly about the down low phenomenon and the black church, but I would have never thought that the sex scandal with the ultra-masculine Bishop Eddie Long would come to light.  



HOTLANTA's finest @ Pride



Bishop Eddie Long, mega church pastor of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church, has now been named in four separate lawsuits alleging sexual coercion of young men in Atlanta, Georgia. Hotlanta!  You know the ATL, well there's not much to leave there to wonder about.... I mean come on its Atlanta.  The black gay mecca of the south!  I means boys & girls for that matter are packing up moving there in droves and I mean it's the fine men!! I have always been a bit naive when being able to tell... so when I saw some pictures of some men in the ATL @ some events, I was like HOT DAMN!!  I know why now just look at this picture to the left.....------->

Anyway..Bishop Long, in the words of the Southern Poverty Law Center, “is one of the most virulently homophobic black leaders in the religiously based anti-gay movement.”  I personally have had the opportunity to visit Bishop Long's church on multiple occasions and even have VERY close family members who attend and are ministers at the church.  I must say that when I've visited the church on numerous occasions in the past, Bishop Long has always projected nothing but a extremely strong and masculine image including the muscle shirts...lol  However the congregation and men in the church were clearly suspect, it made me wonder.  I mean very suspect!!  They have a large affiliation with several Greek alumni chapters in the stone mountain and lithonia area... Hmmmmmm

Like the formerly-closeted Ken Mehlman, who recently repented for his work to prevent gay marriage, these lawsuits, if substantiated, would suggest that Long’s homophobia began with his own self-loathing.

Now main stream media considers the story especially disturbing because the manner in which Long is alleged to have lured young men on trips and sexual encounters. Calling the plaintiffs his “spiritual sons,” the lawsuit states that Long used various rituals in a ceremony to “seal” his “sons”—including candles, exchange of jewelry, and discussion of biblical verses that reinforce the spiritual and God-like connection between himself and the young man.  Growing up in the black charismatic church, to his defense a lot of pastors now consider many of their parishioners to be "spiritual sons and daughters" for that matter.  I think that portion is a case of main stream media not understanding the dynamics of the black church.

Isn’t this the man who marched with Bernice King alongside five thousand African Americans against gay marriage? As Sarah Posner points out here on RD, this practice of manipulating congregants into sexual relationships stems from “kingdom now” relational theology, mandating close relationships with spiritual leaders or “spiritual parents” in an individual’s life.

Conveniently, Long’s Longfellows Youth Academy was a place where young black men could be “trained to love, live and lead,” with Long and others acting as “spiritual parents.” Though they appear to have been taken down the website had included testimonials such as: “My real journey to Manhood didn’t start until I joined Longfellows.”

Another testimonial powerpoint outlined how the Ishman masculine journey and Bishop Long’s teachings about the bloodline stated that their “bloodlines should not be destroyed” and that “we have to take care of our bloodline because if we don’t, we are not doing our jobs as men.” With the revelations of sexual activity and the link of one of the plaintiffs to the academy, the academy is being sued, along with New Birth church as a corporation.

However, that’s only part of the story. Sex scandals happen everyday in church because leaders and members of strict churches can’t uphold the high standards of living they promote, aspire to, and harangue people over. The endless carousel of revelations about the Catholic Church worldwide is exhibit A of that broken message. In that sense, there is nothing new here.

The real story however, is that this case explodes the cover of the black church’s internal don’t ask, don’t tell policy which has had a profound effect on the community and its followers. It’s very interesting that the Long scandal broke almost immediately after black pastors led by Bishop Harry Jackson came together with the Family Research Council to oppose the repeal of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Act. Many black pastors have staked their entire ministries on the “family” and the obsession with mainstream gender norms that encourage heterosexual marriage, abstinence, and patriarchal norms. It is an all-encompassing message that is obsessed with the suppression of sexuality in black churches, mega-churches and storefronts alike.

The core issue however is “respectability.” The obsession with mainline and black prosperity churches to show well groomed African Americans as prosperous, good, heterosexual Christians has gutted the social justice message of urban black churches. President Obama has even bought into the message of “talking down to the folks” with messages about delinquent fathers and feeding kids Popeye’s for breakfast. Meanwhile, the activities of black church leaders in sexual scandals, including Jeremiah Wright, websites that track sexual abuse, and blogs concerning “policing” black church sexuality suggest that the don’t ask don’t tell policy about sexuality in any form in the black church is alive and well.

The Homophobia and sexophobia of black church leaders can be found in their literature, preaching, and revivalism. Intrepid preachers and evangelists use sexuality in titles of books and preaching to get followers to buy their extended respectability sermons, packaged as sensual tomes like The Lady The Lover and her Lord, Foreplay: Sexual Healing for Spiritual Wholeness, or No More Sheets. Then emotional meetings are arranged so that everyone can “confess” and feel clean while the ‘leader” can be shown to be above reproach.  Now growing up in church it has been said for many years, that the preachers who preach the loudest and hardest about a sin, are usually the one struggling with it themselves!!  Case in point, there was a preacher in my hometown, many years ago, who preached against adultery!!  every sermon he talked about somehow found a way to talk about cheatin' on yo' wife!!  lol  Well it eventually came out that he had not only cheated on his wife but was still cheating and had fathered two children outside of the marriage, in which the estranged mistress showed up to church one sunday and showed out!!  lol... imagine the ride home after church!?

The master at this is Donnie McClurkin, whose tearful testimonies about being molested and sleeping with men culminated at the past Church of God in Christ (COGIC) convocation with him wailing about people “turning out” the children. Perhaps he forgot where he was turned out first. The church.
So the Eddie Long crisis is not just a crisis for himself, the accusers, Long’s family and the church; it’s a clarion call to African-American churches to cease and desist with the homophobia and finally start to deal with the fact that its not the folks in the pews who need to be disciplined, it’s the corrupt, bankrupt leadership of many, though not all, churches. The endless round of pastor’s anniversaries, offerings, and the fawning “my pastor is God and can do no wrong” theology of black churches needs to stop.

It's these types of railing accusations and blatant criticisms that lead men to take pictures in the bathroom and send them to their secret lovers.

The absolute fealty to leadership and the “man” of god, enforced with scriptures like “don’t touch God’s anointed” have left so many victims in their wake that it’s a wonder people bother to even go to church anymore. When you factor in the money people have put into ministries that pimp them out and put them down, that’s an abusive relationship predicated on loving God and paying to be close to “God’s representative.” If the Catholic church can’t get a pass on its sexual and pedophilia scandals, why should mega-church pastors?

This frenzied focus on sexuality has stunted the understandings about what sex is and is not within the black church tradition. The older generation of repressed members criticize rappers for promoting bitches, hoes, and a bling lifestyle even as pastors’ bling lifestyles of prosperity, on-the-low sexuality, and repression reinforce rappers’ messages with biblical patriarchy, minimally suppressed misogyny, and fake respectability—all under the guise of spiritual authority.  We are now forced to reckon with something that many many men are struggling with and thats sexuality and religion.  I used to feel condemned by feeling the way I felt towards men, but as we can see, even the Bishop can be subject to allegedly liking men as well.



bishop Robert Reaves



Reaves Roommate, Randolph



Even more so disturbing was the story several years ago, concerning a North Carolina Bishop, Robert Reaves who murdered a North Carolina Central University 23 year old female student who was dating his roommate, who was offered free rent in exchange for oral sex!! 

What are your thoughts concerning this ordeal being brought to like and how do you think this will shift the paradigm in how we respond, preach, and teach about sexuality in the church?  I think Carlton Pearson provided a very strong argument in his interview on CNN concerning this.... you should check it out.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6jCeJA0c2g

Even more so interesting is that the huffington post, recently reported that Bishop Long has agreed to mediation to response to the raging allegations against him.  Bishop Eddie Long agreeing to mediation of sexual coercion charges is an end-run around the universally accepted moral and ethical responsibilities of any ecumenical leader. Mediation of sexual allegation grievances is tantamount to an admission of "some" guilt, "some" form of ministerial misconduct. Innocent folk don't make deals if the claims against them are baseless and untrue. Mediation for the accused is a forfeiture of the right to ever claim innocence, and readers should be absolutely clear on this point.  check out the article at the huffington post below:   http://www.huffingtonpost.com/morris-w-okelly/bishop-eddie-long-agrees-_b_790858.html


What are your thoughts??  Where do you see sexuality going in the black church?

It's a Small World After All

I have never been a person who believed in the theory of 6 degrees of separation.  As a matter of fact the whole idea of Six degrees of separation (also referred to as the "Human Web") refers to the idea that everyone is on average approximately six steps away from any other person on Earth, so that a chain of, "a friend of a friend" statements can be made, on average, to connect any two people in six steps or fewer.  When  you are on the down low the six degrees could very well hold true however.  I am now beginning to believe more and more that it is a small world after all and somehow, we are all sort of connected in some freaky cosmic sort of way....

Let me explain...As am trying to effectively manage and juggle my life and the many new endeavors, twists and turns my life is taking, I am now finding that some of the decisions I've made during my experimental phases in life are now coming to stare me back in the face and somehow people that I experimented with were or are connected to others that I experimented with.  Thanks to social media networks such as facebook, I am now finding that people are much connected than I knew, thought, or even imagined. Hey birds of a feather flock together.  Hmmmm?

It can be very difficult to hide the part of you that is always yearning to get out.....but when you start to realize that you are not in this by yourself, it becomes a little bit easier to manage.  An occasional sexual encounter seems to ease the pain.... lol no pun intended...  As I began to explore this damnable (not really but you get the picture)  part of my sexuality I began to find various avenues for releasing the tension.  I would be mortified if anyone from my church found out, I would be crucified if anyone in my family ever knew, so I conceded to hiding the part of me that I had not yet totally or fully understood.  One of the ways was online sites where you set  up a profile, add a hot or steamy picture, and wait for a sexual hook up.  Then there's that occasional craigslist ad that you find where married men, down low brothers all post ads for sex now, while my lover or girl is away or out of town. 

Well a few years ago, when I was exploring the wonders of men, especially black men, I had responded to an ad online, and after a few email exchanges and exchange of phone numbers, we decided to meet just to see if the vibe was there.  He was a married man, had been divorced previously, had 3 children and was a professional.  A college professor as well as the CEO of his own business.  He told me, "let's meet at the gas station on main street, it will have to be quick because I'm gonna tell my wife, I'm going to grab a newspaper and a soda, and i got run by the office to get some paperwork i forgot."  So i said deal... well we met and he was very attractive stocky muscular build, nice smile, clean cut, smelling good, with some baggy sweats and timbs on."  I wasn't expecting his rough side, since he had previously described himself as a professional but on the front of his car was Greek plates.  So i was like ok this dude has a rough side.  At this point, I was very nervous because although we had both seen each others bodies and descriptions, we didn't see each others faces.  For many people on the down low, this can be a point of paranoia, nervous sweats, and nervous gas, if you so will because the idea of meeting someone who you may know or seen, is terrifying in all of itself.  We decided to pull off to a nearby dark empty lot and he stepped out of his Infiniti and walked over to the passenger side of my car and got in. 

After the initial look over, we talked for a minute then he leaned in and we kissed for a while.  Wow a good kisser.  To make a long story short we talked, met each other secretly and after hours, but it soon ended when he started having problems at home and his wife became a little suspicious as they usually do.  Well a few months later, after being on a site, I meet up with a dude who was nice looking muscular dreads, and he was Greek as well.  Well come to find out after I accepted "Dreads" facebook friend request, that after looking at his photo album, he and infiniti were posed together in a picture, multiple pictures to be exact..  I was like wow!  But wait the plot thickens, in October of this year, I was invited to come do a presentation on behalf my company by a friend, who my company had did work for in the past,  and low and behold, while setting up the projector, I hear Mr. Infiniti's voice.  my friend was working for Mr. Inifiniti and I never knew his real name!! lol

It really is a small world.  I know there are countless number of people out there who can say, wow this is extremely deep.  But the down low lifestyle is filled with fake names, fake email addresses, and fake profiles on sex sites which i still don't get, and oh yeah lies.  I guess its the fate that we down low brothas get for living a lie, but I'm now realizing that we are all connected in some crazy sort of way.  I can remember being in a place and seeing people, that I thought had one life, or so they told me, and then it was completely different!!  At times, I feel utter shame for having slept with men, and then I see them in public and I try not to let my eyes or my face show, but I will be like dayum that nigga lied, he told me he was single, but i see him and he's got a ring on his finger and a wife on his arm. All the while, he's sleeping with a man behind her back....  I want to sometimes just give up and walk away from it all... but then there's something that just calls me back, maybe its the sex?  nah...not so much or maybe it's the fact of the thrill of the excitement.  I don't know but I"m anxiously waiting to see who or what will unfold before me. 

It truly is a small world after all!